Virginity is a much-disputed concept as everyone chimes in to give his/her definition and opinion about it. Different cultures define virginity based on their respective beliefs. Virginity is the state in which you have not had penetrative sexual intercourse. The concept of virginity is usually applied to the female members of society. A virgin woman is the one who has an intact hymen. The hymen is a fleshy, thin, and stretchable tissue found at the opening of the vagina. The penetration through finger or tongue may not count as sex, but they break the hymen indeed. But mostly sex is the penetration of the vagina through the penis.
In our society, men do not face the pressure to be virgins and are foreign to the concept. That is because the expectation for being chaste and pure is attached only to women. The myth of the hymen puts them under the hot water. Virginity is taken as a scale to measure the purity and virtue of a woman. It is a typical conservative notion that a woman’s morality lies ‘between her legs.’ The feminist scholars have declared this myth a hoax, and a means to scare the girls not to have sex before marriage. But in most cultures, virginity before the wedding is still relevant. A woman may refrain from having sex with her spouse because she is suffering from a virgin complex.
The patriarchal society made sure to suppress women and limit their roles to the household only. They were not allowed to get an education, go outside, have a job, or have a romantic relationship before marriage; they had a sexual relationship with their spouse but not romantic. Before marriage, fathers were the head of the house, and after marriage, the husband would get the status. The only expectations from women were to produce children and to take care of the household. Those women who worked outside or had a premarital or extramarital affair were considered ‘fallen women.’
Such women were ridiculed and disrespected because they brought humiliation to their family. The Victorian Age is regarded as the most patriarchal age, and we can witness that in the literature of that age as literature defines the norms, practices, beliefs, and taboos of the society better than any other thing. A classic novel, ‘Tess of D’Urberville’ written by Thomas Hardy, is a stark representation of the Victorian society; Tess, the protagonist, loses virginity after getting raped, but the society thinks less of her and treats her like an outcast, not her rapist. Many such scenarios can be there in the Victorian Age literature.
Women were expected never to be involved in sexual intercourse out of wedlock and that she would give her virginity or ‘give her flower’ to her husband as an offering and consummate their marriage. Such a woman is known as an ideal woman. Sadly, even today, society is not much different from Victorian, because of their conventional beliefs regarding women and morality.
Virginity has so much significance because virginity before marriage is always essential. Some women who have a broken hymen due to sexual intercourse or any other non-sexual reason may undergo surgery to repair the hymen and become virgins again. These surgeries are known as hymenorrhaphy or hymenoplasty. In most of the cultures, the bride must bleed in bed after consummating the marriage on her wedding night. It would be proof of her virginity and that she did not sleep with any other man before the marriage. If she does not bleed, she will be considered impure and immoral, and that may result in shame, exile, or even honor killing. Nowadays, in Western cultures, having premarital sex is not considered a taboo or something to frown upon. Yet the practice of having children before marriage has become widespread there. In some of the non-Western cultures, the relatives gather to see the blood-spotted bedsheet of the newly-wed couple.
In such cultures, the virginity of a woman determines her character, morality, and heritage. In her family, she will be made fun of if she is found guilty of having sex before marriage. All the religions of the world have a moral code that is to be followed by their respective followers. Most of the major religions of the world have different beliefs regarding virginity. The religion has a significant influence on the lives of its followers. The active followers of the faith will try to fulfill the demands of the religion; they will refrain from having premarital or extramarital relationships if their religion asks them to. If they do have sex out of marriage, they will look up how to get your virginity back religiously? Though the virginity-related beliefs of different religions vary from each other.
In Christianity, a premarital or extramarital relationship comes under adultery. The New Testament and the Sixth Commandment forbid adultery as it is one of the seven deadly sins.
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his wife and each woman her own husband.”
Only married couples are allowed to have sexual intercourse in Christianity. Likewise, in Islam, it is not allowed to have extramarital sex or adultery. Islamic law allows to give strict punishments to those who commit Zina; men and women are punished with a hundred lashes who commit adultery, and adulterers are stoned to death. The unlawful sex welcomes the wrath and anger of Allah. Men and women will burn in hell as it is one of the great sins. If someone accuses anyone of adultery, the former is supposed to bring forth four witnesses who have seen the latter indulged in the sexual act. In Western culture, premarital sex may bring shame to the individual only. Still, in Muslim societies, premarital sex brings shame and disgrace to the individual as well as his/her family.
In Judaism, premarital sexual intercourse something sinister. Premarital relationships are not allowed, but it usually does not cause any unrest at the time of the wedding. The Jewish bride doesn’t need to be a virgin, or her illegitimate child is not called a bastard or treated as an illegitimate child, unlike most of the other cultures. The legit marital relationship is considered a virtue. The Jewish law has specific rules that protect and guide the female virgins regarding consensual and non-consensual premarital sex.
In Hinduism, premarital sex is not a taboo. Hinduism does not regard sexual desire as impure or sinister. It believes that these sexual desires are the basis of spirituality, creation, rebirth, and masculinity. In Hinduism, the fulfillment of sexual desire is a principal aim of human life as it ensures his existence and that of his ancestors in heaven. Also, it confirms the continuity of his legacy. The purity of women has a lot of value in South Asia, but the impaired hymen does not make the woman a non-virgin. If a person performs the sexual act with the intention of just to gain pleasure or selfish enjoyment, it is unlawful, but if he does it to procreate, it is lawful.
In Buddhism, there is no textual proof that tells whether getting involved in premarital or extramarital sex is a sin or not. Sex was allowed in the time of the prince, Gautama, who later became Buddha, or it was not considered a taboo. Naked women used to roam about in his palace and used to serve him; his father even built a chamber of love. After laying the foundation of Buddhism, Gautama left all the earthly pleasures. The Buddhist scriptures do not say anything about virginity, but Buddhist nuns and monks are not allowed to get involved in sex or such earthly pleasures. Buddha asked his followers to refrain from sexual activities and practice moderation.
In Sikhism, it is not allowed to have a premarital or extramarital relationship. The sex is supposed to happen between the married couple only. Sikhism focuses on the purity of the woman as it is the source of her family’s honor. Living together or having sex before marriage is not at all allowed in Sikhism. Virginity of a woman and spirituality coincide. A woman must remain chaste before her wedding, and she is only allowed to lose virginity after getting married.
The answer to how to get your virginity back religiously is:
– By turning to God, confessing your sin and asking for forgiveness.
– By accepting and understanding that what you did was wrong.
– By abstaining from all the things that might lead you to get involved in the sinful act again.
– By forgiving yourself and moving on.
– By staying strong and not giving in to sexual desires.
The science is rapidly making advances, and due to this, it is possible to restore hymen to regain virginity and is known as “revirgination.” There could be other reasons for the impaired hymen other than penetration. It can be sports, bicycling, horse riding, gymnastics, and using tampons. Sexual abuse, molestation, or rape can also be the cause of broken hymen. The very first advice would be, to be honest with your partner, but if you think there could be severe consequences of doing that, then you can take medical help. Several techniques are used for revirgination;
Vaginoplasty: it is a surgical procedure in which the surgeons recreate the vagina. They use the existing genital tissue of the patient to do so. It is almost like plastic surgery. There are some drawbacks to this procedure like infections, time-consuming, expensive, and not easily accessible to everyone.
Hymenoplasty; is also a surgical process. It is also known as hymenorrhaphy. In this process, the hymen of the patient is stitched back together. It has the same drawbacks as the previous process; vaginoplasty.
Hymen restoration kit: this does not involve any surgical process. It is more appropriate than the previous two methods as it naturally stimulates hymen. As the name suggests, the kit comes with a set of tools. The kit also has an instruction manual which is very easy to follow, and two translucent membranes for restored hymen effect. The use of kit is easy, it does not cost much, and also, it is not time-consuming.
Though there are methods to restore virginity, you must use them only if there is no other choice for you. There could be consequences of applying these techniques. One must try to live by following the rules stated by their religion.